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Ask the Oracle










   

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Oracle Of The Alpacas

Monday, October 10, 2005
Fully Furbished

All knowing Oracle of the Alpacas,

With your unlimited knowledge and all seeing eyes; What would be a fitting name for our new black Furby?


-Jynx



Dear Jynx,


Black-Ass McGee.

Have you talked to your Black-Ass lately?  If you ever want your Black-Ass to learn, you have to interact with it on a daily basis.  Nobody likes a lazy, dumb Black-Ass.

As far as the CIA recording rumors go, you don't have to worry about that.  No Black-Ass would be caught dead in the CIA. 

Remember:  The more you play, the more they do.  Furby keeps amazing you!


Preferring Giga-Pets,

The Oracle of the Alpacas

Posted at 11:21 pm by AskTheOracle
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Say "hello" to my little friend.

Dear Oracle,

What do you do when you are a hitman and have already been paid to do the hit and you find jesus and you give the money to the church?

- Viking




Dear Eric the Judas(s),


It's always a good thing when people find their spirituality.  I'm sure that Jesus, himself, will give you a personal 'thank you' for the loan...as you will soon be joining him with your new cement shoes and pine overcoat.  Ooops, sorry, now I'm telling you the future....

Depending on the consorts of your former employer, you, like Adam and Eve might want to look into covering your ass for a while, such as carpooling with the Pope pimp style. 

Congratulations on your spiritual journey, but as for now, don't journey into the light.


Your personal Jesus,

The Oracle of the Alpacas






Posted at 11:00 pm by AskTheOracle
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Ask, and then shake.

Dear Oracle,

Do you own a magic eight ball? and if you do than what do you ask it?

- owns a couch




Dear in need of a chair,

Signs point to yes, I do own a "magic eight ball" from time to time. 

Inevitablely,  I always ask it for one more magical line. 

Ask again later,

The Oracle of the Alpacas









Posted at 10:38 pm by AskTheOracle
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everyone wants a nut

So If a squirrel gets stunned in the forest and there is no one there to pick him up, or to see/ hear the sound when he gets stunned......should you still cook him into stew????

- Seth



Dear Seth,

First of all, the only way for the squirrel to be stunned is when no one is around you and he happens to be on a telephone wire and sees what you do in your private time, Jameson lover.  And furthermore, only a sick, sick man would eat a squirrel who is merely stunned and not yet dead. 

lover of my own squirrel,

The Oracle of the Alpacas

Posted at 10:30 pm by AskTheOracle
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